In truth, Keekle hated being popular.
I mean, it was like totally hard work, you know? When like people expected you to be, like, a certain way? Well, in Keekle’s mind (which was admittedly very small) that like totally sucked. Like choke me with a chainsaw, or something.
You know?
Fixing her lip gloss in her locker mirror, Keekle saw Kathy Kanyoudothekankan approaching her. Keekle sighed and checked her watch. She wondered if it was already time for their morning throw up session.
Keekle hated throwing up. It did give her a small, girlish figure, but there was a smell of vomit around her for the rest of the day. It didn’t matter how much perfume she sprayed, how much spritz she used, she could still smell it.
It was like, totally gross to the extreme, or some junk.
She like totally didn’t understand this Borg mentality thing either. Like what the fuck was up with that? So like since she was like one of the popular girls, she couldn’t even have a mouse fart without telling the other bitches?
I like totally don’t think so, or something, Keekle thought. But they had recruited her and now, for some reason, she was part of their posse. She couldn’t let them do that to Has either.
They like knew shit about her, so she couldn’t bail, not at all. But like that other chick was just, like you know, a girl. It wasn’t fair to her. She turned when she heard the click clack of Kathy’s heels. “What’s up girlfriend?” She said. She tried to keep the blank look on her face genuine.
“I’m like so totally hungry.” She said. “But I had a Pringle and a Smartie in the car and then had some Triscuits, some Junior Peppermints, half a box of Oreos, some Krispy Kreme donuts, I fucking love those things, don’t you?” She sighed happily. “And one is never enough. You always have to have a second, like, even though you know that they’re like totally bad for you and like filled with all kinds of useless things like sugar, but sugar is like totally yummy, don’t you think?”
Keekle sighed. She was pretty sure that killing one of your own consisted as like some kind of betrayal or something. She would have to watch Clueless and Legally Blond again to be sure, but she thought that was what betrayal was.
And like betrayal is like totally wrong. I mean, it’s like a small country in the south of France, right? Keekle sighed again. She wondered if France was beautiful this time of year. “Is there a point to your inane chatter?”
Kathy chuckled. “Wow, losen up girlfriend. Who pissed in your fucking cornflakes this morning?”
“You’re mother.”
“Oh, honey, don’t get your panties in a knot this early. Don’t make me bring it.”
“Oh, girlfriend, it’s already been brought.”
“Bring it on!”
“It’s like totally already here, beeatch!
“Girls, girls!”
Keekle and Kathy turned to see Maricoh Jacondwey looking at them with concern, her dark brows lowered in a frown. “Why do you popular girls always fight like this? Is this how you communicate?”
Keekle thought about it. “I think it’s like how we totally communicate and like establish our dominance over each other. Because, like, we feel like totally shallow and unhappy about ourselves, but want to make like other girls feel worse about themselves.” A thought hit Keekle. “We’re like the Goth kids, but like only brighter!”
There was a beat of silence. In that beat the truth of Keekle’s words caused Maricoh’s eyebrow’s to rise. “For such a stupid girl, you’re awfully intelligent and astute.”
Trying to process these words, and failing, Keekle smiled weakly. “Thank you Principal Jacondwey.”
“Kathy, you get to class, Keekle, you come with me.”
As Keekle followed the principal down the hallway, her heart beat more quickly. “Am I in trouble, Ma’am?”
“No, Keekle, far from it. Step into my office please.”
Keekle paled. She had never been in the Principal’s Office. Part of being popular, to her mind, was always doing her homework on time and getting better grades than anyone else. She knew the other girls didn’t care. But being popular meant making sure no one had any room to judge you.
Like, on anything, you know? She like totally had to be above reproach, like all the time. It was like, totally mega exhausting. She as hella tired all the time. Like totally. As she sat, s he wondered what Principal Jacondwey would say.
When she spoke, Keekle was like totally blown out of the water, like some freaking mermaid on a fishing hook. Or something.
“Keekle.” Maricoh said. “You are a bright, intelligent girl. You may be a little dimb and dumb, but I believe if you apply yourself, you can do great things.” She took a pause and reached forward to touch Keekle’s arm.
It was the touch that made Keekle really pay attention. No one had ever touched her in kindness before. “What is it, Principal Jacondwey?”
“I wonder if you’ve ever given any thought to college?”
No comments:
Post a Comment