The night was cold.
There was a dampness in the air that got underneath my skin and into my bones. I wanted a drink and a hot bath, but I had a job to do.
The job always came first.
I sighed and stopped walking to light a cigarette, listening to the noises around me. This part of town was dangerous and you had to be careful. Even me.
And I can't die.
As I listened, I heard several things: the wailing of a car alarm, the shrill cries of a child. I could hear loud music coming from the left of me, its base thumping.
I also heard breathing.
I looked to my right. Another dark alleyway, identical to thirty or forty I had already walked through. It was faint but I could hear someone breathing in the darkness between the buildings. The breathing was raspy, laboured.
I sighed and started forward, my high heeled boots clacking nosily on the pavement. I saw a shadow move across the ground and knew he was there. I walked towards him.
He stank of alcohol. I bent down towards him, my long red hair covering my face in the darkness. "Are you alright?"
The man looked up at me. "Been better." Each word was a rasp. "Spare change?"
His eyes were bloodshot and I could smell the death on him. I can always smell
death. "I can't give you money." I said. "But I can give you something else."
"What is it you have for me?" He was desperate.
I smiled kindly at him, tried to look kind. "Aren't you eager...?” I whispered. I reached out and touched his cheek softly. There was so much suffering in his eyes.
I felt him stiffen at my touch. I heard his breath catch in his throat as a warmth spread into him through my fingers. I felt his fear ebb away, felt his fear slowly leave his body with his pain. He looked up at me and smiled with his few remaining teeth.
"You are an angel." He whispered.
I could feel a tear slide down my cheek but I did nothing to wipe it away. "No," I said. "I'm not an angel." I felt another tear slide down my cheek. "I'm not anything."
I watched as a soft light, a golden glow, began to pulse from his body. The glow intensified and soon he was a shining mass of light. I took my hand away and the light went out, leaving me in darkness.
Looking down, the man was gone. In his place was a small gem stone. It winked at me in the darkness and I bent down to pick it up. I looked at it in my palm, letting the meagre light in the alleyway shine on it.
It looked like a sapphire. It was tiny, about the size of a small pebble. But it felt incredibly heavy in my hand. Most people think souls would be light but they would be wrong. Depending on the life a person lived, they can be full of weight.
I opened my coat and pulled out the small pouch I wore around my neck. I tugged it open and looked inside. The nights work looked up at me: three rubies, an emerald, a diamond, three garnets and an amethyst. I dropped the sapphire inside and heard it land with a small click. Closing the pouch I sighed.
And went to find the next one.
* * *
They say that home is where the heart is. If I had a heart, I would certainly live in my apartment.
I live in a building that used to be an old fire hall. The fact that I have a fire pole going through a hole in my living room floor doesn't bother me a bit. I let myself into my apartment and closed the door behind me, relishing the quiet.
With a sigh, I head towards the kitchen and the bottle of white wine that's waiting for me in the fridge. I don't normally drink right after a job, but this one took a lot out of me. They've all been taking a lot out of me lately.
I pull the cork from the wine bottle and drink straight from it. I feel a cold rush that goes straight to my head, straight to my brain, and I let out a sigh of contentment. If a girl can't get drunk after helping someone pass on, there was something wrong with the world.
I took the bottle with me into the living room. The message light on my answering machine was blinking at me. There was one message. I already knew who it was from. I jabbed the play button.
"Alex?" Steve's voice was thin, hesitant. "I thought you'd be home by now. I hope you had a good time tonight…even if your job did cut it short. You'd think that you were the only doctor they have on staff at the hospital, the amount of times you have to run out. But anyways…"
I felt a momentary pang of guilt, for the ten millionth time. Steve thought I was a doctor and it was best to leave it at that assumption. I didn't see any harm in letting him think that's what I did for a living. It kept those pesky questions at bay.
The truth was, I told people I was a doctor because I couldn't think of any other job that would involve me leaving at all hours of the night. And if I was too tired to talk about what had happened when I got back, what of that? Lots of doctors don't talk about their jobs.
"I hope you had a good time tonight. Sylvia and John said they had a lovely time meeting you…" I could tell he was nervous, could hear it in his voice, in the intonation. "Listen, Alex, I was thinking that…well, I need to talk to you." I felt my heart sink. "Call me when you get in. It doesn't matter what hour it is. We need to talk."
The message ended there. No I love yous, no talk to you laters.
Great, another boyfriend was going to dump me. I just couldn't catch a break.
Putting the wine bottle on the ground, I curled up on the couch and let sleep claim me. Thankfully it was dreamless.
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